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Monday, December 6, 2010

Redneck Retro

Since our very first Christmas together, my husband has asked--no, my husband has begged--to decorate the house with colored lights.

I put my foot down every year. No colored lights. It's tacky. And sort of redneck. No! I was not having it. And we haven't.

Until this year. This year, somehow, he managed to coerce my children into believing that only cool people have colored lights. Since the summer, every time Christmas has been brought up in conversation, they have whined like babies (Matt not being excluded) for colored Christmas lights. Within the last few weeks, the whining and begging intensified and grew intolerable. If it was a strategy, it was a good one. Wear down the opposition. I need to remember that.

Finally I had heard enough. I gave in. I was mad. I threw up my hands and said, "Fine! Be tacky if you want!" Matt relished in his victory but knew if Mommy isn't happy, it's just not gonna be good for anyone in the long run. (Such a smart boy.) So in an effort to smooth things over, he and the kids went out and bought me a light up flamingo.

Yes, you heard right. A three-foot, light up flamingo, complete with Santa hat and scarf, to go in the yard. You know... beneath the colored lights.

Ok, so yeah... I love flamingos. I get a flamingo ornament every year. The girls and I pose with flamingos at the zoo. I just bought a flamingo Christmas platter. I love flamingos. But as you can imagine, the flamingo did not help the redneck situation in my yard.

But wait... it gets better... or worse.

Having heard about the flamingo, Matt's mom and dad found a palm tree that they thought would go perfectly next to the flamingo. And bought it. And gave it to us. And the crazy thing... it already CAME with big, colored lights. No need to add lights. They came standard.

As Matt was outside working his magic on Saturday, I was in the house wringing my hands. What will the neighbors think? Can I ever show my face again? When he came in to say, "It's ready," I wasn't sure I could even look. But I'm so glad I did.

I love it, y'all. It's so ridiculous, it's awesome.

I like to call it redneck retro. He even made my flamingo appear to be standing in water beneath the palm tree. So perfect. I can't help but smile every time I see it.

The only problem was, my traditional Christmas wreath totally clashed with the redneck retro motif. It had to go. Two boas, 3 wooden letters, and an old wreath base later, I came up with this little flamingo-esque number. No more clashing. Don't laugh. You know you're jealous.

The only thing upsetting to me now is that I waited this long to give in. We have had so much fun with these decorations. Much more than the traditional white lights and outside decor of years past. And who was I kidding? We are SO redneck retro. It's good to finally come out of our Christmas closet.


Sharon said...

Oh my word! I love it, for you! ha! If it makes you feel better...Lindsey asks all the time why we can't have colored lights. Sooo, we may not go flamingo but we may not be far from colored lights!

Merry Retro Christmas!

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

LOVE it. Breaking with tradition is nice every once in awhile, but embracing your inner redneck is CLASSIC. ;)

Tyla said...

You know what they say..."If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Glad you love it. lol Seriously, though, I'm sure there are many very upscale homes in Florida that have these very same decorations.

The Jordon Family said...

We've used colored lights every year and love them and really have never considered them to be "red-neck" at all.. guess it's just the person and what they like.

Jody Robertson said...

Oh my! I love 'brightened' my morning. :)