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Friday, December 3, 2010

Pregnant Brain


My friend, Melissa, had the funniest blog post today. She is pregnant and talking about what I refer to as "pregnant brain."

If you've ever been pregnant, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's inexplicable. It's mind baffling. It's beyond the realm of what medical science can cure. Pregnant women do and say things that they would NEVER do or say when they are not growing another human.

I have thrown away keys. I have tried to pay with my driver's license. I have walked into walls that were always there. I have called people I've known for years by the wrong name. I have worn two different shoes. I have left the house and realized I forgot to put on make up. Pregnant brain is real, Girls. It's real.

But by far the worst pregnant brain episode I ever had occurred when I was carrying Belle in 2003. Matt and I lived a few streets behind Whatta Burger in Russellville. (All my Hog fans out there know Whatta Burger.) And if you've frequented it for long, you might remember the GIGANTIC drink cups they used to have.

Well, one day, Matt came home from work and brought me an extra large diet coke in one of the mammoth cups. (I know. You're not supposed to drink caffeine when you're pregnant. Mind your own business.) I was sitting on my couch, watching tv, holding my drink when I realized my head was itching. So, I raised my hand to scratch it--the hand that was holding my drink--and proceeded to pour the entire diet coke directly on top of my head.

Poor Matt just stared at me, not knowing whether to laugh, cry, or call someone to take me to a padded room.

Pregnant brain is real, Girls. It's real.

What's your pregnant brain story? You know you have one!

17 comments:

Erica said...

I have a whole host of them... the worst were the ones where I screwed up work stuff-- I just couldn't think straight. As a bank manager dealing with LOTS and LOTS of money, legal papers, etc... And I would even forget how to use a calculator and count money periodically. It's a good thing my boss liked me or I probably would've been fired for all my "pregnant brain" mistakes! I'm pretty sure he cringed everytime I told him I was pregnant. By the third time, he was like, "Do you know what causes that?!" Ha! :)

Joann said...

Okay, this post made me laugh out loud, thank goodness I am here by myself with the exception of my 4 poodles who just ignored me!

stacislab said...

That is hilarious. Never have been in that 'blessed state' myself, but I've seen my friends go through it. Crazy, but it is real :)

Gretchen said...

I'm still laughing! That is hilarious! Thanks for sharing.

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

That made me laugh out loud. FUNNY!

Matt and Courtney Stewart said...

Instead of dumping the boiling water with noodles out in the strainer in the sink, I missed the sink and dumped it all over my very pregnant belly, leaving 2nd degree burns. / I left my groceries that I had just bought at Target and went home, only to realize later that I had come home with an empty car. / Numerous times I would wash my hands and walk out of the bathroom, turn off the light, only to have left the water running. Matt would find it running hours later. / And last but not least, I would find the Milk in the pantry hours after I put it there. Blast.

Sarah Fries said...

I'm pretty sure I dumped coffee on my head just last month and I better not be pregnant! I was trying to protect my gorgeous hair from 6 tiny rain sprinkles and I used the hand that had my full hot cup of coffee (with sugar and cream of course)! My hair was sticky and stained brown. I ran into one of the classrooms that had a shower and washed my hair in the sink! Needless to say I had the worst hair day ever.

So that's my non-pregnant brain that was just as bad as your pregnant brain! I'm sure I have several pregnant brain stories so I might be back!

Kari Beth said...

Hilarious! I had many moments when i was pregnant but I've more after I've had Elle. I call it nursing brain! The best is when Elle was 5 months old the night befor we left to go to the beach, Aaron was in NYC, I drove out of my gparents driveway with my blackberry on top of my car. Ruined! Then a couple wks after I got my iPhone I left botanical gardens and couldn't find the iPhone. Pulled over in FAC parking lot and it was there on top of my car. I lucked out. It's never ending. Sometimes I honestly wonder if all the people that know me best think I'm crazy!

Kari Beth said...

And the same day I drove off w/ iPhone on top of my car I came out of target and Elle's Halloween costume was sitting on top of my car. Still to this day I don't know what happened there ;)

Cindy said...

Ha...I have enough trouble WithOUT pregnant brain...I guess that is why God chose adoption for us:) LOL!!

John R.G. said...

If you think "pregnant" brain is bad, wait till your brain is 80!!

Gina said...

Without telling him what was going on, I read your story to my husband and he said, "Is she pregnant?" I recently left my debit card in the ATM at the bank. My husband was swearing he was going to have to call my OB and "have a little chat with him" about my tubal not working. He said, "You only do stupid stuff like that when you're pregnant" Like put the phones into the freezer rather than on the charger; paying one particular bill THREE times and not paying the water bill at all...yeah, wasn't cool when they turned off the water...but the guy who turned it back on (after hours) was so nice, he didn't even charge us the big fat fee...because I was big crybaby!

Chrissy said...

ANG! I love this!!! b/c I am currently living in this crazy state of mind all. day. long! I think baby brain is waaaayyyy worse with #3! I used to really prde myself on not have to make a list for everything under the sun.... but now, not so much. If i don't make a list, staple it to my shirt, and set a timer to check said list..... things just wouldnt get done!!! :) I know this too shall pass, but I am just hoping I have a little bit of common sense after the birth of this child! :)

Jen said...

You are so funny!! And paid with your driver's license? I have too! I have too! I just thought I was the only one ;-)

Happy Monday my Dear! xo

Anonymous said...

With my first pregnancy I had a craving for McDonald's Fish Fillet. Of course I would throw it up every time I had it, but that did not deter my from insisting that my husband pick up a meal for me on his way home from work. On particular time, when he brought me the sandwich, I opened it up and it was as if they had only given me a half fillet. I burst into tears and cried through my whole meal about not getting enough protein.

Erin said...

There is a real live name for it and everything, it's called Gravid Senilis.

My pregnant brain episodes usually revolved around my slippers. The first time I was pregnant, we were living in an apartment. I left the apartment, went down the stairs, down the hall, out the door, and down some more stairs before I realized I was still wearing my slippers.

And then with the second baby, did the same thing, except I got the toddler all settled into her car seat, got into the van and started it up before realizing my feet were waaaaay to comfy.

Here's a link to another pregnant brain post that cracked me up: http://marriageconfessions.com/2010/11/30/pregnancy-brain-farts/

The Frat Pack + Me said...

oh my gosh...that is hilarious! I did something similar at Starbucks a few weeks ago...went to check my watch with an open top hot chocolate....I am not pregnant! Menopausal brain perhaps?