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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Evil, Evil Halloween

Some parents do not allow their children to participate in Halloween because of its debauched wickedness. No costumes. No decorations. No trick or treating.

Ok. I respect that. Debauched wickedness is bad. If you feel you should flee from it, by all means, flee.

But two days after Halloween, I would like to offer another reason for the sheer evilness of Halloween and an evermore prevailing reason why we should flee from this most malicious of holidays.

This....

This is sitting on my counter. Three bags full of sinfully delicious goodness just waiting, begging me to come sample with its evil siren-like song.

EVIL, EVIL HALLOWEEN CANDY!!

I can't throw it out. The kids would be devastated. I can't hide it. They've placed it strategically where they want it. And besides... if I hid it, I would still KNOW where it was. There's no way to flee. No way, I tell you. Halloween has sucked me in. I am in its evil grasp.

To make matters worse... someone had to go and give them 87587 Twizzlers Pull-n-Peels. I wanted to take a picture for blogging purposes... but I can't. Do you know why? Because they're gone. All 87587 of them. How? Why? Because I snuck them out of my children's Halloween bags when they weren't looking and ate every last one of them. Every. Last. One.

So, I get it. I get why people flee from the evilness of Halloween. Because it is. It is evil.

I want to know. I really want to know. Have you been sneaking candy from your kids' Halloween bags? Give yourself up. What's your favorite candy to steal? Make a girl feel better about herself.

15 comments:

Boni said...

I believe in the "checking the candy for razorblades/drugs" rule. Not because I'm over bearing. Only because I want to steal all the reese cups out of their bags...because they are poisoned.

:)

Jackie said...

I have a solution...
We started doing this when Alex was little and it just stuck. After all the trick or treating is done, I let Alex go through all his candy and pick out his 5 favorite pieces. Then we put all the candy back in his bag and put the bag on the back porch. Sometime in the middle of the night, "The Great Pumpkin" (me) comes and takes his candy and leaves him a toy (which I purchased earlier in the week). Candy is gone, Alex has a new toy, and everyone is happy. I save a handful of candy to use as reward candy and the rest gets sent to work with Keith.

Erica said...

I like to steal anything chocolate. Especially Reeces. But this year, I haven't stolen anything yet. Because I made a pan of Reeces pb cup brownies Halloween day and I've been too busy stuffing my face with those to bother with plain ole' candy bars. :)

Karen said...

Yes. I, too, steal candy from my child's Halloween basket. But he's 2, and there's no way in the world he should be eating that much candy all by himself, so really I'm just being a good mom and helping to keep him healthy and tummyache-free. At least that's what I tell myself. : ) And by the way, my favorites are the Twizzlers Pull and Peels too....or the Kit Kats....or the Reese's cups...who am I kidding? I like it all. Guess I better load up on the insulin this week.

Kate (Southern-Belle-Simple) said...

since i don't have a child, my house is pretty much candy free after halloween. but this doesn't stop me from spending way too much time perusing the discount halloween candy at the grocery store....i'm stimulating the economy!

give me reese's cups, twix and kit-kat any day of the week!

Christina said...

Kit-kats!! There I've said it!

If by some miracle there was dark chocolate given, it's mine too!

Tyla said...

Ok, this may be a little off subject... (By the way, I do steal from my children. Call it payback for the large scar each of them left across my stomach the day they were born)...but has anyone noticed that the regular Reese's cups are smaller than they once were?

Leanne said...

I feel your pain...that bucket of candy is killing me! I can't control myself! I want every piece of chocolate in there! :)

Superchikk said...

I just ate two "fun size" Snickers out of Caedmon's candy while he was supposed to be napping. I felt it was almost adequate payment for him acting like a turkey and not taking a nap.

And in all honesty, Caedmon likes the idea of candy more than he likes the actual candy itself.

Jackie, I LOVE that idea. I may steal it!

The Young Family said...

Yes! I am ashamed, too. I mean who steals candy from a child....really? Me! Oh so sad! Poor Ava hasn't had a chance at trying a Milk Dud...

Joann said...

Nope, don't steal anyone's candy cause I don't like sweets.....I know you think I am alien too, that is what everyone around here says cause according to them I can't be normal if I don't like sweets....lol!!

Aimee Pearson said...

Smarties and bubble gum ..... I can't control myself.

Guillen said...

Unfortunately, I don't have children. This is one of the times that I wish I did! I love Sugar Babies but can't digest caramel now. Yes, my life sucks. I also LOVEEEEEEEEEE that candy that every old person in Hector gave out on Halloween. They are those black and orange wrapped chewy things with peanut butter in this middle. I have no idea what they are called buy oh my. Yum-O!

Anonymous said...

yes...i admit. i stole the snickers and butterfingers. all of them.

kimberly

Sherrilleta said...

Pull-n-Peels. Memories.