Some parents do not allow their children to participate in Halloween because of its debauched wickedness. No costumes. No decorations. No trick or treating.
Ok. I respect that. Debauched wickedness is bad. If you feel you should flee from it, by all means, flee.
But two days after Halloween, I would like to offer another reason for the sheer evilness of Halloween and an evermore prevailing reason why we should flee from this most malicious of holidays.
This is sitting on my counter. Three bags full of sinfully delicious goodness just waiting, begging me to come sample with its evil siren-like song.
EVIL, EVIL HALLOWEEN CANDY!!
I can't throw it out. The kids would be devastated. I can't hide it. They've placed it strategically where they want it. And besides... if I hid it, I would still KNOW where it was. There's no way to flee. No way, I tell you. Halloween has sucked me in. I am in its evil grasp.
To make matters worse... someone had to go and give them 87587 Twizzlers Pull-n-Peels. I wanted to take a picture for blogging purposes... but I can't. Do you know why? Because they're gone. All 87587 of them. How? Why? Because I snuck them out of my children's Halloween bags when they weren't looking and ate every last one of them. Every. Last. One.
So, I get it. I get why people flee from the evilness of Halloween. Because it is. It is evil.
I want to know. I really want to know. Have you been sneaking candy from your kids' Halloween bags? Give yourself up. What's your favorite candy to steal? Make a girl feel better about herself.
4 days ago