I'm a people pleaser. I wish I wasn't. I've gotten better. Much better. But still today, the stress of thinking I'm not meeting expectations of those who have expectations of me hurts me to the core. I dwell on these 'failures' even if I know the expectations they have are not ones I'm equipped to meet. I know the person God made me to be. It's hard for me to imagine that even my 'quirks' were handmade by the Creator of all, but they were. Still, I wish I could make everyone happy all the time--to never let anyone down. I wish that, but I also understand its impossibility.
I was having one of my 'why can't I please everyone moments' not so long ago and shared my feelings with Matt. The next day he sent me this quote from a book he was reading. It hit home, and I've gone back to it so many times since.
I am so thankful for the circumstances that I was raised up in. Yes, they were trying at times, but the lessons learned are countless. Of course, I still have issues I'm working on--I have difficulty learning to trust people for fear of potential hurt somewhere down the road. I'm working on it. But on the positive side, one hard and fast lesson learned from my past is that all expectation and hope for happiness and anything and everything good should never be placed onto people--even the best of people. Disappointment and resentment will find you quickly and proceed to eat your spirit alive. Even with the greatest of intentions, the best of people will fail you. No one knows the heart of other people except for the One who created them. No one but Him knows the circumstances they're walking through. No one but Him knows what's breaking their hearts. No one but Him can lead them down the paths they need to go. To believe we know better about the way they need to conduct themselves is to believe we know as much about them as God Himself.
In the last couple of weeks, not only have I felt as though I lacked in measuring up to others, but I have also seen first-hand the suffering of people who feel others have let them down. Again, I wish I could make everything happy and beautiful for all of them, but the truth is, there is only One who can. People are flawed. I'm probably the biggest of them all, but I know someone who hasn't a single flaw. Someone who is perfect and equipped in every way to meet the tiniest to the greatest of needs. He can't screw things up. He can't fail us. No one but Him can send the rain.
Do any of the worthless idols of the nations bring rain? Do the skies themselves send down showers? No, it is you, O LORD our God. Therefore our hope is in you, for you are the one who does all this. -Jeremiah 14:22
4 days ago