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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I am so there.

I am tired. Tired and overwhelmed. I am in a dip. I hate dips. The last week or so has been difficult. Not only with Grandpa's hospital stay but several other issues that, separate, aren't a big deal. But together, have made a big heap of yuck, and I am flailing somewhere beneath. Grandpa is better. He is home. My Aunt Shirley and Uncle RC are there. I am SO grateful to them. But I feel like I should be there, too. The fact is, I can barely deal with my three kids effectively here at home. It would be disastrous for everyone if I tried to lug them all to Grandpa's for an extended stay. Still, I am consumed with guilt that I am not there. This makes me view cloning in a completely different light. I need another one of me. Not sure the world does, but I've decided it would be most helpful. That way, this me could be sitting here typing this blog post, while the other me does the laundry that has needed to be done for several days now... or changes the diaper that is so full it may fall off all by itself any second now.

It just seems that, recently, every turn produces a new challenge or uncertainty or difficult decision. And I feel utterly and completely unqualified for any of it. These are the points in life when you just say, "God, I can't. Not without you." I am so there. And very ready for a change. ChangeS, actually. Plural. The good thing about dips, though, is that eventually, you climb your way out. Right now, I would prefer an elevator.


Sharon said...

I'm so there right beside you!!

Sarah Fries said...

I want you to know that you have a bunch of people around you that would love to help! Including me! I know I'm no you but please let me help in ANY way, please.

Jill said...

I'm with Sarah! Please don't hesitate to ask if there's anything I can do - even if you call me and say that you just can't change another diaper. I'm right down the road and I'm very serious that I would be there in a heartbeat if you need me.

The Lombard Clan said...

I understand where you are at and if you ever need anything please let me know!! I don't work and am always willing to stop what i'm doing to help someone out. I always have kids around so if you ever just want to drop yours off for the day or even just a couple of hours to get something done or just take a nap...please just call!!! I don't live that far from the church!! Let me know if I can ever do anything to help you out!!!

Marti said...

For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. Isaiah 41:13
Be encouraged, Sweet Girl!