Poop and Grape Kool Aid Morning

I love fiction. Love reading it. Enjoy writing it. But even I couldn't make this stuff up. Well, I suppose I could, but I would never put it in print due to its high unbelievability. The following are true events that occurred this morning. They have not been embellished for heightened drama. They are simply the facts.

Warning: Two of the events about to be described involve poop. Squeamish reader beware.

Traumatic Event Number One

Estella Dru (who is always the first one up) shakes me awake this morning. She yells, "Oh my gosh, Mama. You gotta come see this. Faulkner has poop stuck to his bootie, and he can't get it off." (FYI: Faulkner is the cat.) So I jump out of bed just in time to see him dragging himself across the rug, smearing the huge green piece of poop into my beautiful rug. Clean up time was approximately twenty minutes. I was a bit shaken, but tried to get past it. On with the day.... Little did I know....

Traumatic Event Number Two

Once all the kids were awake, I made them breakfast, and while they were eating I decided to get out the large Kool Aid dispenser I bought the night before. The kids go through so many juice boxes, I thought this would be an easy alternative. I made a gallon of sugar-free grape Kool Aid and set it up in the fridge so whenever they wanted some, they could get their cups, push the little button, and make their own drink. Sheer genius, right? I thought so. However, when I closed the refrigerator door, apparently something inside pushed up against the dispenser and held down the button. When I came back about fifteen minutes later, I noticed my floor was purple. I opened the fridge door to find all but a small about of grape Kool Aid had spilled inside the refrigerator and was ALL OVER EVERYTHING. I stood, frozen, staring, speechless, for quite sometime, overcome and suffering from shock. Finally, I forced myself together and began removing every item, scrubbing, rinsing, scouring.... About an hour into my toil, one of the girls yells, "Oh no, Mama! Come quick! Jeb took his diaper off!" Immediately, I began talking to Jesus, "Please let it just be pee. Please let it just be pee."

Traumatic Event Number Three

It wasn't pee. It was poop. Lots and lots of poop. And he had only managed to wriggle free of HALF of his diaper as part of it had caught around his ankle. So, not only was their poop in the floor, but since he had been running down the hall it was all over the walls as well. I ran to him, picked him up, shook him side to side until the diaper fell with a PLOP to the floor, and hurried him to the bathtub. Since it was all over his feet and legs, not to mention hands and hair, it took quite some time to rid my child of his poop covered self. When I finally finished with him, I walked back out into the hallway, and once again, stared in shock and horror at my walls and floor. While this mess only took about thirty minutes to clean (not counting the Jeb clean up time), the refrigerator was still waiting on me and took me another hour or so to finish.

Now... if ANYONE thinks they have a story to top this one, I want to hear it! Oh and by the way, you can thank me later for not posting pictures, because I have close ups of ALL of it.

WARNING: Too Many Beach Pictures Ahead

Yes, I know that I COULD put these pictures in a slideshow format. However, being that this IS my blog, I prefer the old-fashion-just-slap-up-as-many-pics-in-one-post-as-you-can format.

We are home from the beach, and we had such an awesome time. I absolutely loved being there with my babies and husband. We couldn't have asked for better weather, better kids, or better accommodations. Everything from start to finish was just perfect. (Except for MAYBE the ride home. Ok, no maybe about it. It was hellacious, but that's another story for another day....)

We are still unpacking and recovering, but I wanted to post some pictures while the kids are napping. I do realize that I have more shots of Jeb than anyone else, but he stayed pretty close to us the entire time, unlike his sisters who went non-stop from ocean to beach. Moving targets are hard to pin down.

Every time someone we know goes on vacation to somewhere we often go, I always want to ask the normal questions, "Where did you stay? Where did you eat? What did you like?" So, sometime this week I'll try to fill everyone in on the 'what we liked and what we didn't like' aspects of the trip. For now, enjoy the pictures--all 745,000 of them!

Beach Bound and Happy Father's Day

We are leaving today for Florida. We have never taken a beach trip with just our little family--me, Matt, and the kids. I could not be more excited. Say a prayer for safe and sane travels. Yes, I said 'sane'. Three kids, including a one year old, in a car for 10 hours. 'Sane' is definitely what I said.


Also, Happy Father's Day!! We are stopping by to see Grandpa as we head toward Florida. If you read my blog much, you know how I feel about my Grandpa. He means so much to me, and I love and respect him more than words can say. He was my biggest fan when I played ball in high school, always encouraging me from the stands. I only remember him missing one of my games, and I began playing in the 3rd grade. Today, I'd like to think he's still my biggest fan.

Almost 88 and still a doll.

And a BIG shout out to my sweet Matt. Honestly, he is the best daddy in the universe. You'd just have to see him in action to truly appreciate his role as my kids' daddy. Whether it's praying with them every morning before school or sneaking in their room every single night to tuck them in or bringing the girls flowers for no special reason... Matt Slaughter rocks. Plus, he's way hot. I love you so much, Sweetie.

And the winner is...

Ladies, I chose the most primitive way to go about picking a winner, but it worked well. (Plus, Belle and E Dru had fun in the process.) After checking and double checking to make certain all the names were in the mix, this is what we did...



Congrats, LaDonna. I will get the video to you asap. And since this drawing was so much fun and we had so many enter, we will do another very soon.

Food Network Friday: Pig Cupcakes

Confession: While we did get this idea from the Food Network, it has been greatly altered (aka 'simplified'). We saw it this week on the Neely's show... pink, piggy cupcakes.


Click here for the Neely's version. We simplified by using a cake mix and store bought pink icing--not a lot of spare time on our hands this week. We used Tootsie Rolls for the eyes and nostrils and decided on red velvet cake in honor of the Steel Magnolia's armadillo cake. (My second favorite movie in the universe, by the way.) The girls may have been a little freaked out by the blood red cake, but it just made for more fun.

Here are the ones the girls did all by themselves. Have you ever seen anything so scary, yet beautiful?

And here's E Dru biting into her bleeding little piggy. I've already scheduled a therapy session

This little baking project really was a lot of fun for me and the girls. If you're wondering about the Jebster... he slept through the entire process. (Thank God. That boy is a serious mess.)

Tomorrow we draw for the dvd. Check back!

Happy Wednesday

****** Sorry, Lori. I should have thought of that! Scroll down... I added pictures!

This summer seems to be going by so fast. For the Slaughter family, I have adopted one summertime goal: Try to make it out of the house at least once during the day. It seems that if we hang out in the house all day, everyone loses their minds--especially the Slaughter sisters. Those girls can fight with the best of them.

(Ok, this picture may have been staged, but it's a true-to-life re-enactment, I assure you.)

We make quite a few trips here. We slowly meander up and down the aisles. Every now and then I'll actually buy something other than popcorn and icees. Today I bought a super cute dress for the beach. (Is that ok, Matt? We'll talk later.)




Above are pictures of my purchase. Cute, huh? Apparently, it's a dress OR skirt. Am I a smart shopper, or what??? Click here for the link to Target.

Today has been a good day. Since we did make a Target run and the girls haven't been cooped up in close quarters, they have gotten along wonderfully. Jeb has been playing outside, though, he can't resist slamming his face up against the backdoor just to make sure I'm close. I finally caught it on camera. Little stinker.



And also, Matt bought me these beautiful calla lilies... my absolute favorite.


Funny story about calla lilies. When we were considering buying this house, I was so nervous. It was a big step, and change desperately scares me. We were here viewing it with the realtor for the third time, and I glanced over in the backyard and saw a single calla lily growing in the not-so-taken-care-of flower bed. Right then I just knew this was our house. (I'm an unashamed believer in the fact that God gets our attention in all sorts of ways.) A few days ago, Belle came running in the house with dirty hands and says, "Mommy, me and Daddy found you a big surprise!" I came outside, and she and Matt had found the calla lily plant and replanted it for me. I had forgotten all about it. We are praying the little thing survives.


On other fronts, we have lots of entries for the video. I'm so excited because I really love this dvd. Remember, you have until Saturday!

Fun Give Away: Awesome Ab Workout DVD

COMMENTS CLOSED.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I've been working out more than usual. It was a needed change. I have seen some good results, but I was really needing a good ab workout that I could do at home. A sweet friend of mine sent me a P90X dvd, but I have been waiting on Matt to commit to doing it with me. In the meantime, I have been using this one...


For us moms who literally have to sneak in a workout while kids are napping or playing, this dvd is awesome. Each session is only 10 minutes, but the next day, you most definitely feel the soreness of a good workout. I have been trying to get in at least two sessions a day for about two weeks and am amazed that I can look down and tell a difference. Plus, this video is not about a lot of crunches, so those of us who have back issues from pregnancy are safe. It is honestly the best ab dvd I've seen in years.

It's a long story, but I have an extra copy of this video. It has been viewed once (scout's honor), and I thought it would be fun to just give it away. Again, I HIGHLY endorse it and would love for others to get a chance to try it out.

Just leave me a comment on this post (make sure your name is included), and I'll add you to the drawing. On Saturday, I'll put all the names in a hat and let one of the girls draw. Whoever wins, I'll send you the dvd.

See? It's so easy a 4 year old can do it!!

Food Network Friday: Homemade Ice Cream

This week was all about homemade ice cream. We watched Ms. Paula Deen make homemade butter pecan on her show, and I begged the girls to try it. They thought it looked "ok" but "really wanted to make orange sherbet" (Belle Slaughter's all-time favorite). I had a recipe in the back of my mind for homemade orange sherbet and finally found it on the web. But since we already had the ice cream maker all set up, I went ahead and tried the butter pecan, too. It. Was. Divine. I know I must sound like I'm tooting my own horn, but all I did was follow Paula's recipe. Ya'll (as she says), I've honestly never had better.

So here are our TWO recipes for the week. The first is almost too simple to even post, but here goes. (Don't get a paper and pen because you won't need it.)

Pour 2 liters of orange soda into a large mixing bowl.

Add one can Eagle Brand (or the cheap knock off stuff like we did) and mix.

Pour into your ice cream maker and let it do it's thing.

And here it is. Homemade orange sherbet. The recipe suggested adding a can of crushed pineapples to the mix, but I knew my kids would never go for that. This recipe is SO easy and PERFECT for little ones to do all by themselves. (Except for the ice cream machine, of course.)

If you want to be a bit more industrious, go here for Paula Deen's homemade butter pecan. So so so so so good. It honestly blows anything you can buy at the store right out of the water. Whole milk, sugar, vanilla, vanilla pudding mix, evaporated milk... oh my. So yummy.

BusinessWeek and The Sighting

BusinessWeek just came out with its 2009 list of The Best Places to Raise Your Kids. For Arkansas, Springdale was ranked first. (Yea, us!) Listed among the reasons for what makes us so special is Arvest Ballpark, parks, and nearby hunting and fishing.

(This is the picture they used of Springdale. By the way, does anyone know where I can find these snow covered mountains?)

And while all those things are wonderful, what BusinessWeek neglected to add to this list of perks is how a family (like mine) can be driving down the street in their neighborhood (like today) and, without even paying an entrance fee, can unknowingly drive upon a small wildlife reserve right there in a neighboring yard.

If you have a squeamish tummy, STOP READING NOW.

What we saw was not one, not two, not three, but FOUR of the nastiest creatures known to man. (Okay, maybe they're tied with 'possums, but still, chillbump nasty.)

Brace yourselves...




Chillbumps. Chillbumps. Can't. Even. Think. About. It.

But oh, yeah. I took some pictures because I KNEW Matt wouldn't believe me. I carefully approached the satanic beings (I just cannot believe were created by the almighty hand of God), took a few pictures with my iPhone, then literally ran back screaming to my Jeep. As soon as I slammed the door Estella yelled, "Lock the doors!" Smart girl.

I have just never seen anything like this. It was all I could do not to knock on my neighbor's door and with my hand gripping my chest ask, "Do you have ANY IDEA what is going on in your yard, Man!?" I think they were babies. They were scurrying around with their long little nasty faces looking for who knows what, and every so often they would peek up with their beady little armadillo eyes. OH MY GOSH. Chillbumps.

So, BusinessWeek missed out on this little perk. I'll never spend money at the zoo again.

Family Pictures and Surprise Beach Vacay

Two VERY fun events in the Slaughter House...

The first...

We had our family pictures taken yesterday. I was VERY nervous about this monumental undertaking. For one, I despise how I look in pictures. If there existed a contest for the MOST NON-PHOTOGENIC PERSON ON THE PLANET, I would win. Hands down. And if you are one of those people who like to LIE to someone's face and tell me that this could not possibly be true, please refer to any HHS yearbook between the years of 1986-1993. Preferably 1993. Once you recover, you will argue no more. And for two, I have three kids--all of whom I wanted in a picture. Pretty much impossible, right? That being said, Melissa McCrotty is a miracle worker. I have known Melissa since forever. Her dad was my basketball coach back in the day. I LOVE that man. And her family is just precious precious precious. She undertook the task that is the Slaughter family yesterday at her home in Russellville, and from what I've seen so far, the results are just awesome. Click here for a sneak peek at our shoot on her blog. I'll post the rest soon I hope.

And secondly...

Matt surprised me today by booking us for 5 nights on the beach! Words cannot express how excited I am. My girls were so disappointed that we weren't going this year, and now, they are on cloud nine. (What is could nine, exactly? Hmmm? May have to look that up.) Anyway... here is a funny, outtake beach picture from last year. Ahhh the adventures of trying to get a family beach shot. I think this year, thanks to Melissa, we may forego that endeavor altogether!

#27

(UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that I possibly may have miscalculated on the exact number of this birthday--an innocent oversight.)

I love birthdays. Always have. And this one was so much fun. I started out the day with Starbucks (of course, my fav) and a dozen pink roses from Matt and my babies. Then, at small group at church, Matt had a 'special chair' (slightly embarrassing) just for me, and he had made me a cake (slightly hideous, but so sweet). This afternoon, we went to Matt's mom and dad's for a shrimp boil. It was delicious. I love shrimp and probably ate two pounds all by myself. Afterwards, Matt's sister, Sarah, made one of my favorite desserts. I don't even know what's it's called... Lemon Delciousness, maybe. (Not really, but it so could be.) If you're interested in the recipe, you'll have to ask her!

My "princess chair" as Matt called it.

Photo by Belle... Me and my beautiful roses.

My cake by Matt. He's taking orders if anyone is interested.

Yes, this was as good as it looks. Thanks to everyone who helped make this happen.

My birthday dessert by Sarah. Thanks, Sarah! I just ate the last of it!

All in all it was a great 27th birthday. I am so blessed.