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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The True Story

Several have been asking exactly how I injured my hand. Apparently people are confused over the true version of events versus Matt's version of events. I feel I must take a moment and set the record straight.

Last Tuesday, I was doing all I could to make it out the door in time for Bible study. I got up early, got the girls out the door for school around 8 am, then proceeded to attempt to get Jeb and I both ready to go by 8:45 am. I got ready as fast as I could while Jeb, who was recovering from an ear infection, followed me around with outstretched arms, crying, "Mama" for over 30 minutes. Since it was my Bible study group's turn to bring snacks, I quickly cut up some coffee cake, stuck it in the warmer, then ran out to start the Jeep. (It was a frigid morning.) I hurried back in, put on Jeb's shoes, decided I forgot my Bible, couldn't find my Bible, went on a search for my Bible.. all the while, Jeb is following me, crying, "Mama!" I grabbed the coffee cake out of the warmer, picked up Jeb, his bag, his sippy, his jacket, my Bible (that had been hiding in the couch cushion), and opened the garage to put Jeb in the car.

My PLAN: strap in baby, come back for coffee cake, make it to church by 8:50 am. But as I opened the door leading to the garage, I realized that I had forgotten to open the garage door. I panicked. Carbon monoxide poisoning! I quickly hit the button and opened the garage door, still standing at the top step, and wondered, "Is it ok to put him in the car now? Will he die? Didn't I see this once in a movie? Maybe I should wait a few minutes. But I was supposed to be there at 8:45 and it's 8:46! I hate being late. What if the ladies at Bible study are hungry and waiting for food to arrive? What if I'm the only one who remembered to bring snacks? Surely there's enough fresh air in here by now. I bet it's safe to put him in. But what if all the poison is trapped in the car! I read once that carbon monoxide is odorless. How can I be sure? Do they make carbon monoxide detectors for cars?" (You think I'm kidding, but again, this is all true.)

And at some point during all this hesitation, I lost my footing and fell off the top step onto the concrete floor of the garage. Yes, I was still holding Jeb, but being the brave, utterly selfless mommy that I am, I kept him from hitting the ground by taking all the impact of the fall in my hand. (Ok, "utterly selfless" is a little much. It was total instinct.) I collected myself off the floor and brought Jeb inside where I called Matt. He came home and took me to the ER. Thankfully nothing is broken, but there is a possibility of torn ligaments. At some point, I am supposed to make an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. Awesome. It is still painful, but manageable. I have had several negative encounters with stairs over the past couple of years, and I'm thinking I should just steer clear of them all together. Evil, evil stairs!

But that is the true story. If you hear otherwise, please disregard. Matt thinks he is quite hilarious with his version. So if he tells you something different, don't laugh! It will only serve to encourage him. Below is a picture of the sign my witty husband created and attached to our back door. In addition, he has the girls trained to say, "Mama, watch your step" every time I go into the garage. If I didn't love him so much, he'd be in a lot of trouble.


Ross and Lisa Green said...

It's tough being a church going, stay-at-home momma! I do hope your hand and thumb heal quickly.

Superchikk said...

I do hope you heal quickly! Maybe Matt is just trying to help that along, with laughter being the best medicine and all. :)

The Black's said...

You always make me laugh! I'll be in town next week; I hope to see ya!!!

Annie said...

Go to SPIN!

Ben and Kristen said...

I guess I got away easy when I busted it last week with Avery in my arms at Jason's deli while we were meeting our summer intern and her boyfriend with our entire youth staff. I only have a bruised up knee and sore muscles. Motherhood is dangerous!!! Hope you feel better soon :)