Talking about the taboo!!

Yes, I'm going to write about it. POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION! Why am I putting it out there for everyone to see that I have suddenly lost all sense of reality? Because any woman reading this who has gone through it, or will go through it, or have friends or loved ones who have gone through it need to know that they are not alone, and it is very real to those who suffer from it. I delivered my sweet baby on Monday the 18th, and the next Sunday, I fell into the deep, dark, terrifying abyss of postpartum. For those extremely blessed women who have never experienced it, I truly can not find the words to explain the feelings that descend on you. All rationality goes out the window, and you find yourself in a lonely, hopeless place with no prospect of ever again feeling normal or happy. The precious child you waited and prayed for while they grew inside you all of a sudden scares you to death. For me, even the smell of baby lotion or sight of a bottle made me nauseous. I have experienced postpartum with every child--Belle, Dru, and now Jeb. I am one of the blessed ones who only suffers for about a week or so, so hopefully I am nearing the end of this horrible place I am in. That is my desperate prayer anyway. But it is so very important to me to just get it out there.... "Postpartum is real, and it happens to the best of us, and it's common for women to experience. It's just not common for anyone to talk about!!!" For me, my husband, family, and friends have been my heroes throughout this terrifying week. So, I beg anyone who happens to read this... be a hero to someone else going through this horrible event in their life. And for anyone else going through it or who will go through it... talk about it. Let people help you. I can't imagine going through it alone.

Ok, enough bad stuff. Other than this--please pray for me that the worst is behind me, and by the end of the weekend, I will be postpartum depression free! On a happy note, I'm posting some more pictures of Jeb. He is so sweet and still so tiny. He is sporting his "tie" onesie and thought he was quite GQ.