I am a penguin.

Sigh. Long day over. How I love my three children, but sometimes....

Thursday Morning Blog-Worthy Happenings

Two blog-worthy events have happened this morning, and it's only 11:15 am. The first... Jeb and I got out this morning for our Thursday coffee at Starbucks. He wasn't really in a car seat mood today, and immediately demanded, "Cuee." (That's Jeb speak for 'cookie'.) So, I hand him a Vanilla Wafer, and not a mile later, he demands another. I tried to feel back (you know the one hand on the wheel/one hand searching on, around, everywhere for whatever the baby just dropped move) to find the one I just gave him but couldn't locate it. So, I hand him another cuee.

Then as I go to get him out of his car seat at Starbucks, this is what I find. Bless his baby heart. Oh, Son... seriously? You couldn't feel that?



The next 'funny' thing.... well, not so sure you can call this funny. More sad, maybe. Unbelievable. I received a text message from my husband this morning. The following is the message in it's entirety, unaltered, exactly how I received it.

"Park nder the oning."

Here... I'll add the picture for proof. (Actually, after looking, the one above it is funny, too. He's the messages in white.)


Because I know him so well, I FINALLY figured it out. Anyone want to take any guesses and play the "What Was Matt Trying to Say" game? There are no prizes, by the way.

Slaughter Girls Q and A

Today my girls were having a conversation in the kitchen about what "Mommy likes the most." I listened for a while, then decided to ask them some questions about what they 'know' or 'think they know' about Matt and me. The answers were so funny I had to write them down. The following is the list of questions and the girls' answers verbatim. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. (Just for clarification... there was NO PROMPTING involved!)


1. What is Mommy's favorite thing to do?

Belle: "Lovin' on Daddy." (Didn't see that one coming.)
E Dru: "Writing on the computer."

2. Where is Mommy's favorite place to eat?

Belle: "Chili's."
E Dru: "Chili's." (Both right.)

3. What does Mommy do best?

Belle: "Fix my hair."
E Dru: "Put bows in our hair." (I've clearly missed my calling.)

4. What does Mommy do worst?

Belle: "Cartwheels."
E Dru: "Cartwheels." (As you can imagine this answer is very strange to me. I can't even recall attempting a cartwheel since maybe jr. high.)

5. What drives Mommy crazy?

Belle: "Daddy's silliness." (So true.)
E Dru: "When we scream." (So true again.)

6. How old is Mommy?

Belle: 23 (Love it.)
E Dru: 16 (Awesome.)

7. What does Mommy not like?

Belle: "Riding bikes."
E Dru: "Me and Belle being mean to each other."

8. What is Mommy's favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

Belle: "Mommy cereal." (AKA Cinnamon Pecan Special K)
E Dru: "Grapefruit with Splenda." (Love this, too.)

9. How long did Mommy go to school?

Belle: "10 years." (That would put me completing 9th grade only. Awesome.)
E Dru: "100 days." (Sweet Drusy.)

10. What did they teach Mommy in school?

Belle: "Math. Sewing. Plus and equals. A little science." (Oh, how I have failed you.)
E Dru: "Coloring. Mathing." (Ah, to be good at mathing...)

11. Is Mommy very smart?

Belle: "Yeah. You know how to do all that famous stuff."
E Dru: "Yes because you don't yell that much." (Great.)

12. Is Mommy a good mommy?

Belle: "Yes. All the time. Well, sometimes. No, all the time. Ummm. Can I just say sometimes?" (I did not ask for elaboration.)
E Dru: "Yes, and you love it when we listen to you." (Yes, I do.)

******
1. What is Daddy's favorite thing to do?

Belle: "Just sit around on the couch." (Again, no prompting involved.)
E Dru: "Drive." (Laughed out loud.)

2. Where is Daddy's favorite place to eat?

Belle: "Chili's like you."
E Dru: "Fun City." (A girl can dream.)

3. What does Daddy do best?

Belle: "Sit around on the couch."
E Dru: "Eat oranges." (I PROMISE these are not rigged.)

4. What does Daddy do worst?

Belle: "Cartwheels." (Again, with the cartwheels...)
E Dru: "Sing." (BINGO!!!)

5. What drives Daddy crazy?

Belle: "When he can't sit on the couch."
E Dru: "When we scream."

6. How old is Daddy?

Belle: "20."
E Dru. "17."

7. What does Daddy not like?

Belle: "Cleaning up." (I love this child.)
E Dru: "Honey Nut Cheerios."

8. What is Daddy's favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

Belle: "Any cereal."
E Dru: "Cinnamon toast."

9. How long did Daddy go to school?

Belle: "5 years." (At least I got 10.)
E Dru: "Ummmm... 100 days like you did."

10. What did they teach Daddy in school?

Belle: "Just math."
E Dru: "How to scribble." (Again, laughed out loud.)

11. Is Daddy very smart?

Belle: "Yes because he married you." (Brilliant child.)
E Dru: "Yeah. He lett-ed me get a toy." (I'm really going to have to work on past tense verbs.)

12. Is Daddy a good daddy?

Belle: "Yes. He only sometimes gives us spankins, but he's still perfect." (Awww.)
E Dru: "Yes, he always is good." (I agree, Sweetie.)

My Babies in Blue

The task of getting them all together in one picture was much bigger than me.

"Strategy" at Its Finest by a special guest blogger

My wife thinks that I never read her blog, but I do. And I always love what she writes. After reading her last post I couldn't help myself. (Babe you really should think about changing your password.)

So tonight while she is gone to the gym I thought I would have a little fun and show all her blogging friends "strategy" at its finest. Please pray for her and her dishwasher loading skills. (She really has none, and I not really sure praying will help. But with God all things are possible, right?)

Maybe if you could just help me explain that cups go on the top rack and bowls/plates/pots go on the bottom rack. Or that if you put a bowl and/or cup facing up it will not get cleaned. I have attempted to explain this for 8 years, but I am not having any luck.



Despite your lack of dishwasher loading skills, I love you more than words can describe! Thanks for all the great things you do! You are the best wife ever! I mean it!

Epiphanies

I had two epiphanies over the past couple of days. The latter much more profound that the former.

First, I now realize why I can't load a dishwasher. (And I SERIOUSLY cannot load a dishwasher. It's actually puzzling how absolutely horrible I am at it.) But now I know why... I am HORRIBLE at strategy, and loading a dishwasher is completely strategic. 'If I put this bowl, here, that plate won't fit. If I put these glasses here, there won't be room for that pot.' It's all strategic! I can't think five steps ahead. My brain just does not work that way. It's why I sucked at geometry... dang those proofs! It's why I suck at checkers and Connect Four! I stink at strategy. See, Matt? I knew there had to be a reason. Now you know.

And my second epiphany was this.... I discovered that many times when I stress and freak out over deciding what to do about a dilemma or situation, the answer is usually staring me right in the face. And the following memory is what brought on this discovery. Before Matt and I got married, I was living alone in my apartment, and my cat woke me up 'meowing' at 5 am. I got up to see what was his problem and stepped on something cold and wet in the middle of my carpet. Immediately I thought, 'hairball puke.' (If you have a cat, you totally know what I mean. And if that just grossed you out STOP READING HERE.) I was pretty repulsed and totally unprepared for what I saw when I turned on the light. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was not hairball puke at all, but a bloody, headless, cat-spit covered mouse.

I. Freaked. Out.

I dove into the bathroom and began scalding my foot with hot water and soap. After I was sure I was de-moused, I looked back into my bedroom, and there it was. Still laying there--my cat still proudly prancing around it. It's irrational, I know, but I could not think of what to do next and was on the verge of panic. I reached for my phone and called my Grandma, knowing she'd be awake at 5 am. In my horror-stricken, way too fast voice, I told her, "Grandma, Tuffy just killed a mouse, and there's blood everywhere, and I stepped on it, and I washed my foot, but it's still in the floor, and it's so gross, and I don't know what to do!" And I so clearly remember her calm words, "Well, Honey....Get rid of it." What wisdom. What insight. Get rid of it. Of course. Bloody, headless mouse in my floor. Must go away. Brilliance. But in my crazy panic, I didn't even see the answer, though it was staring me in the face.... (Well, not really, the little thing had no head, so it couldn't actually 'stare' at anything.) You get the point. Recently, I feel the same way. A dilemma has been plaguing me, and instead of just doing the right thing, my emotions have been blocking me from a clear answer. And it took a dead mouse to make me see. Thanks, Tuffy. R.I.P.

(I almost can't bring myself to look at this picture, much less post it. But it's just too relevant considering my frog/mouse phobia. Have. You. Ever. Seen. Anything. More. Terrifying?????!!!)

Thanks, Mr. Geisel--UPDATED

(***THIS JUST IN... Belle came home yesterday with the news that she won the 'craziest hat prize' for her k-5 class. She was ecstatic. Her actual prize was a free ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery. (She is holding up the coupon in the picture below.) And yes, next to her is the Cat. I must say I am so proud of her for remaining calm and collected... much more than her Mommy would have been able to do in the same circumstance. I. Do. Not. Like. Costumed. People.)


I also threw in a picture of her class's 'crazy' pose. Please note my child's face.


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In celebration of Dr. Seuss's birthday, Shiloh made today 'crazy hat day' for the kids. Belle was so excited this morning to go to school with our handmade creation. (ie Ribbons and a plastic Tinkerbell doll tied onto one of E Dru's hats. Absolute creative brilliance.) She also took a Dr. Seuss book with her to school--her favorite, There's a Wocket in my Pocket. We have a few others in our book collection, but my poor kids are suffering from my Dr. Seuss illustrations phobia. I love the words, but those darn characters are just spooky. I distinctly remember being in kindergarten and not wanting to look at the pages of the book while our librarian read Cat in the Hat. That cat and those kids and that fish that never stayed in the bowl and the thing people... little too much for a kindergartner. To this day when my girls pull out those books to read, I still cringe a little. I mean, come on.... If this big scary cat came walking in the front door while your parents were gone, you'd never recover from the trauma. I mean, are those toes or hair or what? Oooo. Shiver.


Anyway, here is a picture of Belle before she left for school this morning. (And yes, I made SURE today was crazy hat day. Can't afford to repeat this.)


And this is my shout out to Mr. Ted Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss. His illustrations may still freak me out a bit, but he is such an interesting, insightful man to read about. He had lots of very wise things to say, but I love this one.... His final line in Oh, the Places You'll Go, his final book, reads, "You're off to great places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way!" What an awesome challenge to leave for generations of kids who still adore his work... my kids included.