Johnny Jump Up Malfunction

Jeb loves his Johnny Jump Up. So, today, when he began crying after only a few minutes of high-intensity jumping, I didn't even look up from what I was doing. Instead, I called around the corner (I couldn't see him from where I was...), "You're ok, Buddy. Keep jumping." But the cries grew louder and more frustrated. Finally, I went to check on him only to discover that his JJU had malfunctioned, and he was soaring through the air like Superbaby, periodically banging his head into the doorframe. Mom of the year, right here.




Yes, instead of rescuing him immediately, I ran for the camera. Some moments must be captured. (Pay no attention to the Organic Spring Vegetables and Rice baby food smeared all over his outfit.)

Yea, Golf Team!

Matt's golf team won their tournament tonight against Gentry, Gravette, Berryville, and Pea Ridge. One of his guys won 1st, and two others tied for 2nd. Yea, Golf Team!

Matt is already preparing Jeb to be the next Shiloh golf standout. He says he's going to be his "Daddy Caddy." Jeb does look pretty darn cute in a Shiloh golf hat.

Mystery Solved

Our 'buggy' mystery has been solved. (Thanks Cousin Denise and Mom.) Last Friday's house invader is called a house centipede. Specifically,

Order: Scutigeromorpha
Family: Scutigeridae
Genus and Species: Scutigera coleoptrata (Linnaeus)

And according to the University of Arkansas's Department of Entemology/Arthropod Museum webpage, (I'll highlight the good parts...)

"The house centipede is often seen darting across floors at high speed, occasionally stopping suddenly and remaining motionless for some time before racing off once more. Its cylindrical body can grow to an inch or more in length. It is yellowish brown and bears three dark longitudinal stripes dorsally. The 15 pairs of slender, banded legs increase in length from the front to the back of the body. The last pair is much longer than the others. The legs give the animal the appearance of great size. Unlike most other centipedes, house centipedes and their close relatives have well-developed, faceted eyes." ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!

OH IT GETS BETTER.

"In captivity, (What the heck does "in captivity" mean? As opposed to "in the wild"?) house centipedes feed readily on cockroach nymphs, flies, moths, bedbugs, crickets, silverfish, earwigs, and other insects and small spiders. They capture prey by half pouncing and half lassoing them. They can capture several prey items at one time. They feed on one specimen while holding the others with their quivering, lashing appendages (Lewis 1981)." AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

AND STILL MORE...

"Although house centipedes are not aggressive, and their jaws are not powerful enough to break human skin easily, they will sometimes bite in self-defense. Severe swelling and pain can result from the venom injected, but in most cases the bite is no worse than the sting of a bee."

Wikipedia adds, "The house centipede('s)... long, delicate legs and a rigid body... enable it to run with surprising speed... up walls and along ceilings and floors."

Needless to say, I am a walking, bug-killing arsenal. I see "well-developed, faceted eyes" everywhere. What the heck does "faceted" mean!!?? No... don't tell me. Do not tell me.

This is a zoomed in shot. Check the eye out for yourself.

What..... in the heck.... is this?

If you know me at all, you know I have an aversion to creepy, crawly things. Ok, 'aversion' may be too light of a word--I'm horrified. I will admit to having a frog-phobia, as well as panic attacks if anything 'buggy' comes near me. I don't know when I became this way. I was raised on a farm. I vividly remember being excited about smashing potato bugs (don't know their real name) between two rocks with Grandma in the garden. I used to collect the little black chicken house bugs (don't know their real name) until Grandpa would tell me to stop. I would dig up worms and chase down grasshoppers for fish bait and had no problem sliding a hook into their little bodies. (I'm near fainting just thinking about it.) And if by chance, the fish swallowed the hook, I wouldn't hesitate slicing the poor thing open to get my hook out. (Ah! The horror.) So, what happened to me? When did I morph into this ultra-squeamish, anti-creepy crawly GIRL who makes my five year old kill spiders and chase away frogs because I simply cannot do it? It's sad. Very sad.

Ok, so there's a little background for you. Now, let me tell you about the event that occurred this morning. I casually walked into my kitchen, completely unaware that I was being watched. I cleaned off my counter then unassumingly looked up to the ceiling, and there it was... a hideous creature with 498 legs just hanging there... waiting to make his move and drag me back to his lair. Brace yourselves.



AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! What in the heck is that thing? What did I do, you may ask. Seriously... you have to ask? I contemplated dialing 9-1-1. It IS the emergency number. But then decided to call Matt. He came home and couldn't believe how scary this thing looked. It tried to grab him, but Matt's cat-like reflexes gave him the advantage. (He IS the Shiloh golf coach, remember?) The battle was fierce, but Matt prevailed. Way to go, Husband. All is peaceful once again. Here's a picture of 'Stella after the killing was over. I think she's been traumatized. (She's frozen this way, by the way... eyes glazed over. It's very sad.)

Stealing a Kiss

So, Jeb is giving kisses now. You know.. the open mouth full of slobber kind that only a mother enjoys. But here's the thing... he doesn't do it when anyone is around. As you can imagine, this leaves me looking completely delusional when I tell people that he does it... then look at him and say, "kiss", and he looks at me like, "What in the world are you talking about, Lady? I've never kissed anyone in my life." Don't you just hate it when your children don't perform when they have an audience?

But for all you naysayers, I PROMISE HE GIVES KISSES! He just doesn't do it on cue.

Let there be fence

With all the milestones this week in the Slaughter house, I forgot to give my husband props for finishing the fence (with Pat and G-Pops' help). Way to go guys. It looks great... and so functional for sending loud kids outdoors. (I realize you can't actually see the fence in the first picture, but I don't think I ever posted a picture of the house after we moved in.)

Drusy's Big Day

Today is Estella Dru's first day of school. She has been waiting for this day since Belle started k-4 last year and was so excited to leave in Daddy's Barbie truck today. I was so happy for her. The skill we had to master was writing her whole name for school. She was really good at Dru , but I wanted her to write Estella Dru. She can do it well if I'm speaking the letters over her, and she does ok if she does it alone... just leaves a letter out or puts one somewhere random on the page. I'm so proud of my girls. It's just me and Jeb and his two new teeth today. Sigh.

(By the way... those backpacks are specified on their school supply list. I wouldn't voluntarily get my kids backpacks bigger than they are!)