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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Dear Husband,

Dear Husband,

I am sorry it has come to this. I have exhausted all other options and see no other course of action than to go public with our current predicament. The truth must be shared. It is imperative that others understand the depth of our situation so that they may learn from it and avoid similar circumstances of their own.

I have been mortified, ashamed... unable to go get the mail without sprinting, all the while, hiding my face in disgrace and humiliation. I have begged, employed manipulation and shame and several like tactics to coerce you into alleviating the problem, yet you have refused cooperation. I fear what the future may hold. Can we continue to show our faces in public? Can our children play outside without the fear of public ridicule and mockery? It is a situation that could dictate the course of the rest of our lives if not handled properly and, above all, immediately.

So, my sweet husband, I beg your assistance this final time. Please. Before the entire family is chased into hiding, help us. We plead with you. Mow the yard!!!


I measured.

21 inches.

Your son is 27 inches.

There exists the very real possibility that, while happily playing as children do, he might lose his way in the jungle that is our front yard and never be seen again. The thought terrifies him.

I leave you with a final, ghastly image. Oh the shame!

Your Loving Wife
XOXOXOXOX

P.S. Yes it IS a boy job.

11 comments:

Joann said...

Hahaha! Cute blog Angela, if this doesn't get Matt busy mowing, nothing will.....lol!

Sharon said...

HIL.AR.I.OUS! Seriously! You crack me up! and YES, IT IS A BOY JOB!!!

Leanne said...

LOVE IT!! I may have to copy & paste this note so that my own husband will mow our horrible yard, lol!!
And, absolutely love Jeb's expressions! He is the cutest little guy!

Jill said...

Seriously about to pee my pants!!! So funny!!

Ben and Kristen said...

What in the world is that? It is not grass. If you leave it a little longer it might flower...then you could hold your head high and act like you meant for it to be there this whole time.

The Young Family said...

This right here is why I check in daily in hopes that you have made a post on your blog! Thanks for another good laugh!

Sarah Fries said...

That's clever...good job SIL!

Annie said...

agreed. boy job.

Brandy Matchett said...

hahaha .....wait til you have the neighbor kids dropping by asking if they can mow the yard....soooo embarrassing. But I did tell mike the next time they ask tell them to go ahead....

Sherrilleta said...

Imagine me doing my best Milli Vanilli lip sync impression...
" BLAME IT ON THE RAIN AINNNNN AINNNN."

Superchikk said...

Don't you know those are TREES trying to come up? What, with global (non)warming and all, you should be ashamed of yourself for wanting to chop down those little tree babies! ;)

I agree though...you don't want to lose your child.